LIGHTBODY

“Then I had the most marvelous piece of luck I died.”

– Cathy Park Hong, Seed Seller’s Sonnet

i am that am i            aware

of a room in fisheye, watching

the lie of the body that dies

bruised white, wan blue,

draining violet

         in the shell

                   of life on earth

black is the claw        dragging

at my pull and tunneling

past the trauma on the table

to christ’s colossus: all walled cave

         cast in home video

                   where every etched name

                   moves a life in review

love is that is love     a mirage

of heat at the breast, sweltering

the souls of close encounters

into calling cards: mother, father,

pouring light

         into the cave

                  of life on birth

                          (on birth)

                                   (on birth)

all black is the hand            guiding

my pull into a transmuted past:

a faraway work of breath on earth —

to think it takes death to learn

that it was all me

           and it was all on me

                     but did i learn?

a lightbody chewing on every choice

closed off to the great gate of going

                                                   going

                                                                gone.

Blair Costello is a writer. His work has appeared in SPECTRA, SWAMP, Misery Tourism, and Expat Press (forthcoming)